On BLM

First, to be really clear: Black Lives Matter is about me inasmuch as it is about all of us working to dismantle detrimental societal structures, but it's not about me. It's specifically about putting a stop to the brutality that Black people have suffered at the hands of police, and more generally about eradicating white supremacy. It's about ending the marginalization of Black excellence and joy.

The fact that it isn't about me doesn't mean I don't want to or can't help. I've found the various resources listed here (Canada-specific) and here to provide several good ways to channel my intentions.

The fact that it isn't about me also doesn't mean that I am not benefiting from this immense work that the BLM community is doing. This is no accident, but instead an explicitly stated belief held by the organization:

We work vigorously for freedom and justice for Black people and, by extension, all people.

Here's just one way: through listening to and learning from BLM activists, I've learned things that are helping me find my voice, and assert my feminism (now there's a word I took a really long time to claim as a piece of my identity, which in itself is already such a mindfuck).

The other day, during a discussion with my (white, cis, het, male) boyfriend, we came to the realization that I'm experiencing the unfolding of the BLM movement differently than he is. While he and I both share the privilege of having the choice whether to contribute and be involved, unlike him, I'm also having an absolutely incredible and life-affirming moment of recognizing certain shared lived experiences, feeling less alone, and naming negative feelings and events which I thought were either unnamable, or entirely my fault.

For example, I only recently learned through watching and reading the works of BLM activists about tone policing, gaslighting (including unintentional), and invalidation. And by "recently learned" I mean "put names to things that have hurt me before, but that I have assumed either were fine and I was too sensitive and/or were mine alone to deal with and fix".

I make no claim of experiencing or even beginning to understand the levels of injustice that Black people have faced. What I am somehow only just realizing, though, is that it turns out intersectionality works in all directions. Working to lift up groups that were previously pushed down gives us all a better chance at a more equal, just world in which joy can be expected, which sounds trite until you finally realize that you are part of “us all” in that sentence. I’m stunned and saddened that it took me so long to connect the dots, but I’m all here for it now, putting in the effort.

Finally, I'm still so early in this process of self-education, I don't know if I'm fucking this up; if I am, I'm really sorry about that (and not just because I'm Canadian). But I won't let the fear of "doing it wrong" stop me from trying to do and be better. I'm committed to learning and contributing as best I can, even if it’s a tiny piece of kindling added to the fire that is already burning so brightly by the efforts of the Black community; I want it so much to shine on.